She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize