chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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