i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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