I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
