did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize