Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
porn star boner night. come get it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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