YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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