Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
