mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love having hate sex.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
