Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My vagina is very pro this idea
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