Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
