Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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