I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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