We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
