im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
