I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
