My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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