Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
