Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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