just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize