You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
