No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize