you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize