he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
