You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
