then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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