...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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