so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
