Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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