I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so let's talk penis.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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