I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
