I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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