No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
