Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
