Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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