I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
