Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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