Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
