i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
