look no pants
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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