I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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