i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
