Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
