I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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