He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
