i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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