how can u be prego again
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
