we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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