Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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