So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
