There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize