i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
