I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am available for nakedness
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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