Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
