I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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