someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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