also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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